I was feeling pretty passionate about this idea and my art just a few weeks ago, and now that the rush is over, I’m left wondering what all the fuss was about. The thing about negativity and expressing your feelings is… at one point, when does it become just another problem? Where’s the line between catharsis and useless ruminating? Adding text to the landscapes certainly made them less precious, but in the end, it didn’t advance me along my path. Ultimately, I think it might have been just a temporary diversion (possibly influenced by the Prednisone I’m taking for my RA flare – and this wouldn’t be the first time Prednisone led me astray, either!). I’m looking at these images now the way someone might survey their property after a violent storm has passed: I acknowledge that there was no stopping it, and I just hope that there’s no significant, long-term damage.
Warning: some of these images contain adult language.
Wouldn’t it be wonderful if people could hear the positivity of this message instead of hearing only the rejection? Surely, respecting yourself enough to set clear boundaries (especially after getting burned) should be something to celebrate? I suppose it all depends on who is doing the boundary-setting in the first place…
They say that when you’re feeling stressed, going for a walk is one of the simplest and best things you can do for your mental health. The trouble is: despite my best efforts, I can never totally forget why I’m out in nature in the first place. And worse yet: I know that the moment I get back into the office, the circus will start up all over again. That’s Life, right?
I’ve also been thinking about how women are under added pressure to disguise their negative emotions in an office environment. Ok, if I’m completely honest, I am ALWAYS thinking about how women are perceived in an office environment (what can I say? I work in a male-dominated industry). How many of us have spoken up for or against something at work and then immediately wondered if we sounded “nice” or “non-confrontational” enough? That’s a lot of emotional care-taking of others in an already stressful situation!
And suddenly, I just wanted to be totally honest: at this moment, I am very stressed, and no amount of greenery will solve my problems. So this week-end, I took some of my landscape paintings and slapped ambivalent or downright negative text right on top of them. As I said last time, even though I’m proud of these paintings, I also find them kind of boring and not representative of me as an artist. I’m not saying that I’ve arrived at my creative destination – it’s just that I feel like I can’t make room for the artist I want to become until I clear out some clutter, if that makes sense. To do that, I had to take these sacred cows and make them a lot less precious.
I’ve added text to about 7 images in all, and I cannot believe how “alive” they look to me now! Whereas before they were just sleepy landscapes, now there is a palpable tension between the peaceful scenery and the jarring, in-your-face negativity of the text. Warning: for some of them, the language I use is pretty adult. I’ll post those next time, and they will be visible under the cut only.
This is by far the most “conceptual” I’ve ever been in my art, and a real departure for me. I have to admit that I had great fun doing it! Globally, I feel that this is more of a “circuit-breaker” and a safe, cheeky way to vent rather than a new direction, but you never know, right? Only time will tell…
Long time no blog! I was going great guns there for the first few months of 2021, and then starting in March my husband had to put in a lot of overtime, and frankly, it’s been that way ever since! When I’m not working at my own full-time job, I have to stay on top of practically everything else – making sure the kids are getting their homework done or aren’t going out of their minds with boredom (and walking into Mommy’s Zoom calls for work!), cooking, getting a handle on everything we’ll need to prepare my daughter for her new school, and making sure the house doesn’t fall into complete ruin. There are many, many corners of my house that I have not dusted in what seems like forever. Luckily, we’ve had exactly zero houseguests in the last year and a half, so no one’s been around to be horrified at my lax housekeeping.
Anyways, another reason why I haven’t produced much of anything in the last few months is because I’ve been in a period of serious re-evaluation of my own work. When I started this blog, it was to track my progress as I re-taught myself everything I’d forgotten from art school, or filled in what I missed. I’m proud of what I’ve accomplished, but at the same time, I can look at my portfolio pages and not feel that the work there truly represents me as an artist. Don’t get me wrong: I enjoy the landscapes, but they also bore me! If I were to set up a website for my art (which I am very much aiming towards), the landscapes would not have any place on it. I consider them as less “elevator pitch” and more “art tool practice” – heavily-involved and elaborate colour wheels, if you will.
So I’m doing a lot of thinking, image-collecting, mood-boarding, and internal pep-talking. Now all I need is some free time, and I might just be able to make this happen!
To get my feet wet again, I upgraded my version of Corel Painter and tested it out by re-painting the Tremblant in the Rain painting. I’m MUCH happier with this version, and my husband liked it so much he half-jokingly offered me a job as a matte painter! (If only… if only…)